Coming home
Moving back to India after years in the Gulf
For couples who have decided to come home, or are about to, and did not expect it to feel this strange.
By Mr. Chakkaravarthy RK
10+ years Experience in Life Coach & Counselling PractitionerDr. APJ Abdul Kalam National Excellence Award & Best Life Coach of India
Internationally Recognized Couples Coach, Relationship Coach, Student Coach and Career Coach. Neurobics Expert, Memory Coach, Train the Trainer and NLP Master.
Updated 2 November 2026 · about 5 minutes to read
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For years, home was the dream that made the hard days worth it. Then you come back, and the town has changed, the relatives have opinions and you and your spouse are learning to share a kitchen again.
Couples rarely talk about this part. This guide does, so it does not catch you off guard.
After a decade in the Gulf, can we adjust in India?
Most people do, usually over about a year. Expect it to feel like a new move, and plan for it like one.
Most people do adjust, usually over a year or so rather than a month. The first months feel like a holiday, and the difficult part often begins after that.
Coming home is a new move, not a return. You changed, and so did the place. Treat it the way you treated moving abroad: with a plan and some patience.
Give yourself
- A year before judging whether it worked.
- One routine from your old life that you keep.
- Friends outside the family.
Why do couples fight after the husband returns from abroad?
Years apart mean separate routines and one person running the home. Daily life together needs new roles, agreed out loud.
When you only meet on leave, every visit is special and nobody argues about who does what. The spouse at home has also run the house alone for years, and may not want to hand it back.
Decide together who now handles the money, the children and the relatives. Do not assume the old roles still fit.
Talk about
- Who decides what, now that you are both here.
- How much time alone each of you needs.
- What the returning partner will do each day, especially before a new job.
How do we handle family expectations about money after returning?
Agree as a couple first, give one answer together, and consider a fixed yearly amount for family help.
Relatives may assume you came back rich. Requests for loans, weddings and property often begin soon after you land, and saying no can feel like betrayal.
Agree between the two of you first, then give one answer together. A fixed yearly amount for family help is easier to defend than deciding each time.
Before you land
- Agree what you will and will not fund.
- Keep your savings figures private.
- Plan your income for the first two years.
How do children adjust when moving from the Gulf to India?
It can be hard, especially for teenagers. Avoid moving mid-way through Class 10 or 12, and include them in the decisions.
Children raised in Kuwait or the Gulf may be moving away from everything they know: friends, school, language and freedom. Tamil may be weak in reading and writing, and a new school can feel harsh.
Avoid moving in the middle of Class 10 or 12 if you can, and let them help choose the school.
What helps children
- Visits to the new school before the move.
- Staying in touch with old friends.
- Listening to their complaints without saying "be grateful".
To talk to Chakkaravarthy RK, call +91 74024 67044. In an emergency only: 112 · Embassy of India, Kuwait: +965 6550 1946 · 14416.
Where Feathers fits
Feathers offers online sessions for couples and families before and after a move home, in Tamil or English, and in person in Neyveli.
This guide is published by Feathers Life Coach, a single-practitioner practice in Neyveli, Tamil Nadu, with sessions online for Tamil families in Kuwait, the Gulf and anywhere else.
Questions people ask first
How long does it take to adjust after returning from the Gulf?
Often about a year. The first months can feel easy, and the harder feelings tend to come after that.
Is it normal to regret coming back to India?
Yes, for a while. Regret in the first year does not mean the decision was wrong.
We fight more now than when I worked abroad. Why?
You now share daily decisions that used to belong to one person. New roles take time and an honest talk.
Can we talk to a counsellor before we move?
Yes, and it often helps most before the move. Sessions can be from Kuwait or wherever you are now.
Talk it through with someone
One private conversation can make the next week lighter. Sessions are online by video or voice call, in Tamil or English, at a time that suits Kuwait or wherever you are. Nobody else needs to know.